Bigfoot's Blog

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Election day is finally over, so now the national media can get back to talking about . . . THE ELECTION?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?! It's somehow news to you that there's so many stupid ass motherfuckers in this country?!?!?

I was out drinking with some friends the other night, and one dude started complaining about the election (specifically, its outcome), when he said "I might have to move out into the woods like you, Foot." I guess I had drank too much, or something, as I completely flipped out, and started screaming "Bitch, you think you can hang out in my hood!?!? Have you ever caight a squirrel and eaten it's head, raw?!?!? Fuck no you ain't, you pussy ass, little, clothes-wearing, shaving, punk-ass bitch! You don't know the middle of the woods; you'd never understand the middle of the woods; so stay the FUCK out of the middle of the woods."

It was pretty awkward after that, so I just left the bar. Still, I think I'm right.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Election Day

As you should know, tomorrow is Election Day. I think that's supposed to be capitalized. If you don't know this, what the fuck is your problem? Osama Bin Laden and I both live in caves (no, not together), and even we know this!

I, for one, can't wait until it's over. I'm so sick of this non-stop election news, like nothing else important is going on but who gets chosen to rule one tribe of you hairless apes. THEY'RE KILLING CHUPACABRI IN TEXAS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! That shit's not cool! What if I went around killing all you guys's dogs? HUH? I mean, I do do that occasionally, but at least I eat them. You fucks just let this poor thing rot, or poke it with sticks or some shit like that. That's not cool.

I heard that Korean Sasquai eat chupacabra . . .

Anyway, I'm sick of everyone always asking me who I'm voting for. What the fuck do I care about two hairless apes? Jack shit, that's what. Whenever I tell people this, they're all like "Well, this election is really important, and you really should vote as your civic duty," and I'm all like "I'M A FUCKING SASQUATCH, BITCH!! I CAN'T VOTE!"


So, this is a blog, huh?

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and she encouraged me to start a blog. "You have tons of interesting things to say," she said,"and they're tons of books about you." I finally agreed, as I don't really do a lot, so it's not like I don't have the time. Killing wild pigs and eating them doesn't take up all my time, you know.

So, here you have it. I hope to update this daily, but we all know that might not be possible. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.